New Term at Rosedale

I have just started my second week here at Rosedale. Ive been thinking about a lot of things while I have been here. Ive had some good conversations, but I have been pondering what my relationship with Christ is. Also of who I really am in Christ, like what my identity is in Him. I feel that I still struggle with Culture shock at times. In training they told us that its a six to twelve month process. I have my bad days, and I have my good days. Part of it has been struggling with depression qualities. I feel so much frustration but then the next hour I will feel happy and like nothing is really wrong. But I havent had any God times. So what I need to do is work on self discipline with my quiet times, and with the things that I do daily. Its like I have this fear or something of the sort of gaining new responsibility. Growing up in our house I had adult responsibilities at a young age, I didnt have the entirety of a childhood. So now that I am away from the home environment I have to start taking on more adult responisbilities. That scares me, its like now that I am away I want to have that childhood stage. Yet I know I am at the age that most people will start taking on the normal adult responsiblities. I know I need to just do it, and accept it all. With a result of all of this thinking I know that I needed to do something about it, so I have begun to do a fast. The fast consists of fasting a week and only having liquids and then the next week eat normal for the most part and then the next week fast again and continue on until the weeks add up to equal 40 days. So it will take me about two months to do. I will begin doing more quiet times and whatnot. Im very ready for it.

The first day wasnt bad at all, It went pretty well actually. But im told its the second day that kind of stinks. I can handle it though. As well this weekend at RBC is a spiritual revival weekend. Starting from thursday to monday morning. It seems ironic that i start fasting this week and know that this revival is coming up. Im so glad.

Be praying that God will be evident to me as I spend these weeks fasting.