Sentimental day.....

What is melanie feeling sentimental about lately:

• Great talks with Betsy Lee, Elisha J, Melody J, Ash M, Brand M, and Andrew M.
• All SA food.
• Rosedale memories and people who have touched my heart and life tremendously.
• The smell of the south african atmosphere.
• Basically great talks with close friends from these past three years.
• Fall weather
• Remembering laughing till our bellies hurt at the movie "stardust"
• Cake and lots of it with the team.
• and lots of celebrated tears with happy memories remembered.
• Getting super excited over talking about SA food with Melody.
• Laughing obnoxiously with Eli.
• Wretting with wendy orozco.
• late night talks in the RBC dorms.
• Traveling with wonderful people.
• Long talks in coffee shops.
• Fitting nine people into a four person car in SA.
• Milking cows by hand.
• Experiencing new food and cultures.
• Long walks around Refilwe.

:) The End

To the Beloved Laura Garber

Two days ago a dear dear lady in my church passed away. Her name; Laura Garber.

She was a woman dear to my heart, she affected my life in so many ways. I just have to smile when I think about cute little Laura Garber. She was a small woman in stature but her heart was that of a person four times her size. She loved and accepted all, had a compassion for people that I can only hope I will have someday.

To me she was a mentor, an adopted grandmother, a person that I hope one day I can be. It breaks my heart to know that she is gone, but at the same time I feel a sense of joy because I know she did what she was meant for on this earth. She spread love and compassion so deep around us that this world was shaken by her.

I know that she's in heaven now; but even though she is gone she is still making an impact on hundreds of peoples lives.

I cherish this woman, and I love this woman. May her legacy live on forever.

*side note: she was in her 80's, she lived a great life. In fact she was supposed to get married this next week!! But the good Lord decided to take her.

Everything has changed...

My motives, my goals in life. All of this has changed since High School. God changed my path way for which I am completely thankful for.

I wouldn't be where I am right now if it wasn't for Him. Since coming home from South Africa I have asked God to continue to stir up challenges in my life to send me where He wants me to go. He has done just that.

Part of my challenges have basically been still adjusting back to the states and getting into the swing of life. In a sense, still going through re-entry. Being here in the states is a process in which God has certainly been challenging me in. When we left South Africa no part of me wanted to leave; I thought that Africa was where I was supposed to continue to be. Africa had in a sense become a safety net.

So the idea of being back in the states was not a favored idea. But yet I remain in hope that God knows what He is doing. Everything is in His hands, His control only.

It puts a smile on my face to think of how much I've changed and how it's only the beginning of the track; the race of life. The pace has been slowed down, which it should be.

Today I feel should be a marker for me. A day where I decide, do I sit here in pity that life is hard and frustrating or do I sit here and make the decision that I need to grow up and fall to my knee's for Him. Laying all of my cards on the table in surrender to Him.

No more of seeking out attention from people for my own energy, no more acting younger than my age all of the time. Of seeking out what is healthy for me, and yet can challenge me. Through out this I am not forgetting that we all learn from mistakes that we make. I am in no way a perfect person. I realize that, I wish that since I have this knowledge that my faith in God wouldn't be so shaky and selfish of me all the time.

Part of me wishes I could just learn the life lessons that I need to know now so I could just instantly grow up more. Yet in saying that, how mature is that?

Ultimately I know that what I struggle with is: trusting God, assuming everything, being full of doubt in every decision that I make.

God help me to surrender ALL of my cards, I am just a mere sinner among many. Forgive me for being so selfish. I honor you God.

Melanie

Places Ive been at in the last three years:

South Africa (The loveliest place ever)

Here, i dedicated two years to learning more about the Bible.

HU, its where im at currently.

I think to myself, how did i get here? I had never thought that I would end up at Huntington. Im amazed and in awe of all of the places that God took me, and how in the world I got here.

In high school I knew all along that I wanted to go to Bethel College and become an Elementary Teacher. I had my five year plan: Go to Bethel, meet my husband, get a job at Waterford Elementary School and live a hunky dory life for the Lord. Things changed in my senior year. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to experience what everyone had been talking about with Missions. I saw the difference that YES did for my brother Austin and I wanted that too.

So I looked around at different missions organizations and decided on REACH. How i concluded on Reach; that my mind fails to remember. I expected reach to be a wonderful fun year where I lived overseas and learned another language. As the time got closer to leaving home thats when the nerves and doubt started to fill my mind. "Was this the right timing? Was I a good enough Christian to be doing work like this? Could I keep up with my team mates?" I was filled with doubts, yet filled with excitement for what was to come.

REACH went far beyond all of my expectations. I never thought I would be facing so many of my demons; so many challenges. I was pushed past limits that I had held onto so strongly, I didn't think I could break so many things in so little time. Granted breaking old habits and broken hearts isnt just a snap of the fingers im fixed kind of thing. But I started the process of change and thats what mattered!! Training changed my life, my team changed my life; africa "ruined" who I used to be entirely. Im so glad that I was "ruined" for Jesus. Above all God did all of the work. I give all my praise to Him for the work that He did in my life during that year.

South Africa, well I could go on and on about that old boy(country) forever. :) Its hard to imagine, but when I was there I felt this sense of belonging. Like SA, was a culture that I could meld into. It was my cup of tea. Oddly I felt more at home there, than I ever had in the states where I spent my whole life! How does that happen? One can only conclude that God was doing something for me to feel that way. I fell in love with South Africa. Its been a little over two years since we left South Africa to come back to the states. That was a gut wrenching day. It wasn' t easy to leave, in a way it felt like someone broke something deep within me that day and it was pain that ive never felt before. On the plane ride home that night I was praying to God telling Him how badly I wanted to go back and live and work there. Yet God was saying something else.

I kept getting five years in my head over and over. I felt like God was saying, wait five years and see where you are. It might mean that God will call me back to South Africa then, or else it could mean that I will then be able to accept that Im not supposed to go back and im supposed to stay in missions in the states.

Once getting back home I then left within two weeks for Rosedale Bible College. Im so glad that I went there, it was a great place to transition back into the states. It was the type of bubble that I needed for re-entry. I met amazing people there that I will never forget and will always be brothers and sisters to me. I love them all dearly.

To sum this up a bit more, Im now at Huntington University; is this the right place for me? My head says ehh and God is saying yes. Just how Jonah didn't want to go to Nineveh at first and I did not want to go to more college, Im here whether I like it or not. Im not kicking or screaming about it. I love this school and the people. The idea of three more years of college just sounds so blah to me! :) If one could only inject the three years of knowledge into my head right now and hand me the diploma i would do it. :)

But I know that I am here for the experience, as well as all of the aspects that I will grow in academically and spiritually.

Its been two years since africa and I'm still going through Re-entry trying to find my place in the world and struggling with that. But I trust my God that He knows what He's doing. Im here to embrace it with open arms.

I trust you God: My feet and heart are yours!